Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize