I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
