tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
this hospital has no fireball
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
