don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
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All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
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I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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