it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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