so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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