That's intense
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
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