from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
