ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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