Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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