He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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