you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
