Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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