i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
