if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
