Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
