had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize