if i can run in heels then i can drive
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
