Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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