'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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