Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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