What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
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It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
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no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.