I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him