He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
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He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen