it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
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I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Do you have feelings for this penis?