Buhtt sex?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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