How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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