all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
