gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
