so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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