Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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