do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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