She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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