Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
