Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
