Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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