I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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