I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
