we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
