If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
