What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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