Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza†btw
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
