I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I will be naked everywhere
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
