Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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