I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize