He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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