is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
