her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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