Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
