I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
