i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
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i've created a new STD.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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