I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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