i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
