I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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