I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
how does that bad decision feel?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
