smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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