let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
barbara walters just said penis...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
