I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
