After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
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Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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