love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
