She's JV to your varsity
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
