If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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