I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
