Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
