Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
