Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
