Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
