do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize